We think.

There’s a lot to discuss as each player’s story away from SW6 comes to a close. Sure, Seoul, Brown, and Leon are still playing elsewhere, somewhere. But their tales will come next week.

Eddie Johnson was an unused substitute in Cardiff City’s 1-0 loss at Sheffield Wednesday. Cardiff City finish the season in seventh place, tied with Preston North End on points but will miss the playoffs because of one less goal scored. (Oh, the irony.) In a full season with the Bluebirds EJ made 30 appearances, starting 5 times. He scored 2 goals and registered 4 assists.

Andranik was an unused substitute in Barnsley’s 2-1 win over Plymouth Argyle. Barnsley finish the season in 20th position. Andranik made 11 appearances and 10 starts for Barnsely. He failed to score but did get a red card in his brief stint with the Tykes.

Adrian Leijer started and played 39 minutes in Norwich City’s 4-2 loss to Charlton Athletic. Leijer was not injured, but probably substituted after the Canaries were 3-0 down, and thus relegated, within 30 minutes. Leijer made just 4 appearances for the club, today being his first start.

Hameur Bouazza was a 71st minute substitute in Birmingham City’s 2-1 win at Reading, which sent Birmingham City up on an AQ (to use a NCAA term). Bouazza made 40 appearances total with Charlton and Birmingham. He made 9 starts and 6 substitute appearances with the Brummies; 22 starts and 3 substitute appearances with Charlton. He scored once with Birmingham, and four times with Charlton.

Volzy was a 73rd minute substitute in Ipswich Town’s 2-0 loss to Sheffield United. Volzy made 20 starts and 2 substitute appearances with Ipswich, who finished the season ninth. Volzy has yet to comment on his website about Roy Keane’s hiring, or his future.

Adam Watts was an unused substitute in Northampton Town’s 3-0 loss at Leeds United. Watts made 5 appearances since arriving in April for the Cobblers, who were relegated because of their loss and Carlisle’s victory.

David Stockdale started and made 6 saves in Leicester City’s 3-0 win at Crewe Alexandria. Since arriving in March, Stockdale made 8 starts for the Foxes, registering a 5-1-2 record and helping them seal promotion to the CCC. Stockdale spent the first half of the season at Rotherham United, where he made 8 starts and posted a 4-2-2 record.

From the look of it, Stockdale sure has a future — with or without Fulham. Expect Bouazza to sign full time somewhere else. Leijer may go elsewhere too, presumably to a lower division. Still uncertain about Andranik and Volzy, as their experiences were a mixed bag.

And perhaps Cardiff missing promotion may be in a blessing for us: we sure could use another striker.

Even if its EJ.

No, honestly, what has transpired the past 5 weeks is Hollywood blockbuster fodder. Stuff you learn in middle school, only to find out isn’t true past high school. Narrative’s that our post post-modern society all but got rid of.

But somehow, those lads from SW6 turned around a season of despair. A season that every sane fan wrote off two months ago. A season where the manager(s), players, and owner were routinely slammed in the British and American media.

I was at a pub in Baltimore, watching the game with about six other Fulham fans in a tiny room on the second floor. There were some other people casually watching too but only to witness the spectacle, not to root for the Whites. “This game is where its at” said one man in a Hibs uniform. One Chelsea fan came up, obviously disgusted with his squads performance. Finally, we were being respected.

Although Pompey never looked like they were going to win, the updates from the Madjeski and St. Andrews were grave. How foolish of us to think that Derby, DERBY could come through for us. Or that a disinterested Blackburn could get a result. A tepid first half left us all quite nervous. I knew we weren’t going to lose, but a draw just wouldn’t be good enough if the results stayed the way they did.

The entire two hours were so entrancing. Several times the bartender asked me what I wanted, how I was doing, etc etc, and each time I responded as if awaking from a day dream: “Oh, Uhm, Uh… nothing, I’m all set thanks.”

The only respite and laughter we had was the constant scoring at the Riverside. 4-0. 5-0. 6-0. 7-0, etc etc. When I heard a Citizen was red carded, I thought briefly: “if Fulham were relegated, could we still sneak into Europe via the fairplay?” before snapping back into reality.

In the second half the lads picked up the performance. I wish I could get a copy of Woy’s half-time speeches because they seem to do the trick. Little Danny Murphy — who we’d been slagging all game — headed a corner directly into Ashdown’s chilling embrace. Later, a succession of headers around the net was eventually cleared by the Pompey line. We could feel it, the imminent goal that would lead us to survival. But being a Fulham fan taught us to always be wary, as the bottom could fall out at any moment.

And then it happened. Again little Danny Murphy with a header. But this time it tickled the twine and Fulham were up 1-0. What was once “We are winning away, we are winning away, you must be shiite because we are winning away!” became “We are Fulham, Super Fulham, We are Fulham, PREMIERSHIP!”

I don’t recall seeing the goal celebration as the room went into frenzy. Us Fulham fans jumped from their stools and cheered boisterously. Hugs, high fives, and fist pumps were thrown around like we had just won a trophy. The casual observers were even congratulating us, pleased that us Fulham fans who had not just been at the brink of despair, but in it as we resigned ourselves to the tragic inevitability months prior now had reason to celebrate.

The final fifteen minutes were agonizing, but we knew it was to be Fulham’s day. Each Pompey attack was thwarted by a brave tackle by Hanglehand, Davies, Bullard, et al. And then the whistle blew. Premier League status for another year.

But, sadly, it was suddenly over. This season of agony that turned to jubilation at the very end (finally?) expired. Yet unlike last summer, I believe in the manager and am ready for a productive off-season.

Come On You Whites!

Some vids/media:

Woy’s Interview
Gentleman Jim Counting Down the Final Minutes
SoccerNet (finally) loves us
Danny Murphy Interview

After winning two roads games in a row, and now shutting out fellow-strugglers Birmingham 2-0, it is fitting that the club is out of the relegation zone — albeit barely.

Brian McBride threw his body around like he was 23-years old again (and, sadly, perhaps his last at the Cottage). Simon Davies had a vintage performance. Kamara has come from nowhere to be a premier striker, and Nevland is officially our Jonathan Papelbon/Mariano Rivera. And I didn’t think any of us thought Stalteri was such a diver…but we’ll let that slide.

Next weekend’s match at Fratton Park is monumental. A victory and we’re (essentially) clear. A draw or loss and its up to the The Fates’ threads. Its amazing and chilling to think that despite this incredible run, we’re still not safe.

MOTD highlights:

And, for everyone who considered Fulham done and dusted (including this here writer), well we got a big plate of crow to chow down. I really wish I could quit you, Fulham.

Just check out SkySports’ reaction:

Although I missed a majority of the match, when I read the 3-2 scoreline I laughed hysterically for a good 10 minutes – something I haven’t done since the victory over Arsenal in the fall of ’06.

Winning back-to-back road games for the first time in four years, Fulham pulled out a miracle on a day that saw them subject-to-relegation just 10 minutes in. Keller, Murphy, and Bullard all rebounded from disappointing performances last week, and possessed the drive and passion that saw us dispatch Everton, Reading, and Villa in the weeks and months past.

The only blemish on the day was Reading, Bolton, and Birmingham all gaining points. But with next week’s watershed fixture at the Cottage against the Brummies, Fulham may just find themselves (finally) out of this quagmire.

But here we are: three points from safety, a winnable match on the horizon, the monkey of away puditry off our backs at the perfect time, and enough momentum is see us clear. And the WhiteWitch continuing to amaze.

But wait…haven’t we been in this position before?

And then there’s the other matches where the squad could not keep the momentum, and negated whatever points they acquired the previous week. Bolton, who have been dire all season, are now out of the relegation zone simply because they managed to attain two consecutive victories.

And now Liverpool, who were the culmination of both aforementioned aspects. They fielded a B-squad yet still cruised to a 2-goal clean sheet victory at our ground, in a match that Fulham should have theoretically won.

Yet I suppose its better this way, rather than continuing the agony for a few more weeks. Woy may be distraught, but its been a tragic inevitability since February.

So with three matches left and our fate all but sealed, I for one am looking forward to the summer. I’ll still tune in to see Davies, Bullard, Dempsey, and McBride wear the FFC badge before they go to their respected destinations. But I’ve resigned myself to the doom.

Fulham “Reserves” defeated Aston Villa’s Reserves 2-0 tonight in a wet affair at Motspur Park. I put quotes on “Reserves” because the squad contained more of the ‘where are they now?’ crowd. Woy’s January purchases came through for the side, as Toni “no, seriously, who is this guy?” Kallio and Eddie “I only show up for meaningless games” Johnson scored.

Playing a 4-5-1, Tony Warner started in net. TJ Moncur (back from Bradford City because of “personal reasons”), Chris Baird, Kallio, and Adrian Leijer rounded out the defense. The bum SK Hyeon, milk-carton extraordinaire Simon Elliot, Volzy, Robert Milsom, and Hameur Bouazza comprised the midfield. EJ was the lone striker. Up-and-coming Matthew Briggs was substituted for Milsom, and youngin’ Joe Anderson replaced Kallio.

On a side note, Football365 has a great piece on relegation, Fulham, and sympathy. Check it out.

After last weekend’s absolute debacle, the squad put forth a performance not seen in years. I really wish I could express more insight about this match, but the WhiteWitch covered everything.

I do however want to make a few notes:

1) It was great to see Rosenior again. I was gutted when LS sold him off for SK Hyeon (worst transfer this season) as the boy ate, slept, and bleed Fulham. Hopefully things turn up for the lad.

2) Woy finally got the line-up right. The Healy-McBride pairing is back. Dempsey and Bullard can show their magic. Davies is on the right side, and Bocanegra finally getting some PT.

2) Bolton winning and Brum drawing aren’t good results. Although its usually good for clubs trying to get out of the relegation party to have others arrive at it, everyone above Reading have a pretty easy schedule from here on out.

Its going to be tough.

I’m not going to vent how completely unacceptable that scoreline is: in general, in relation to the specific opponent, and at home. Nor about the lack of fight from the squad and manager.

But making matters doubly worse is everyone who needed to drop points did. But none of that matters now.

It appears we’ve all given up, sans PR department. Even the Woy appears to have.

All thats left to hope for is to pass Bolton for 18th spot, and maybe (!!!) win an away fixture. But I’m not holding my breath.

(and sorry about the lack of initial bumper music — some problem with recording. so just queue up “Ring of Fire” and play for like 20 seconds before listening.)

Fulham Offside Podcast #2 4/1/08

But for sixty or so seconds, I had hope. Hope that the march up the table would commence in earnest and the (embarrassing) road form would finally end.

Sadly, neither was to be.

You know your team is doomed when every match day is progressively worse than the one before. Today, it was waking up at 5am via a stomach bug and laying around in bed. Oddly,my health eased the frustration of today’s defeat.

How a club with any hopes of survival can be out-shot 19-9 by Derby is beyond me. Again, Woy implements questionable tactics, leaving leading scorer Dempsey on the bench while subbing out Bouazza and Bullard (who had played great) for the fossil Murphy (one goal from the run of play all season) and EJ (who looked disinterested, again).

Now six points from safety, Fulham cannot lose again for the remainder of the season. They must win at either ManCity, Pompey, or Reading.

Highlights are here