No, honestly, what has transpired the past 5 weeks is Hollywood blockbuster fodder. Stuff you learn in middle school, only to find out isn’t true past high school. Narrative’s that our post post-modern society all but got rid of.

But somehow, those lads from SW6 turned around a season of despair. A season that every sane fan wrote off two months ago. A season where the manager(s), players, and owner were routinely slammed in the British and American media.

I was at a pub in Baltimore, watching the game with about six other Fulham fans in a tiny room on the second floor. There were some other people casually watching too but only to witness the spectacle, not to root for the Whites. “This game is where its at” said one man in a Hibs uniform. One Chelsea fan came up, obviously disgusted with his squads performance. Finally, we were being respected.

Although Pompey never looked like they were going to win, the updates from the Madjeski and St. Andrews were grave. How foolish of us to think that Derby, DERBY could come through for us. Or that a disinterested Blackburn could get a result. A tepid first half left us all quite nervous. I knew we weren’t going to lose, but a draw just wouldn’t be good enough if the results stayed the way they did.

The entire two hours were so entrancing. Several times the bartender asked me what I wanted, how I was doing, etc etc, and each time I responded as if awaking from a day dream: “Oh, Uhm, Uh… nothing, I’m all set thanks.”

The only respite and laughter we had was the constant scoring at the Riverside. 4-0. 5-0. 6-0. 7-0, etc etc. When I heard a Citizen was red carded, I thought briefly: “if Fulham were relegated, could we still sneak into Europe via the fairplay?” before snapping back into reality.

In the second half the lads picked up the performance. I wish I could get a copy of Woy’s half-time speeches because they seem to do the trick. Little Danny Murphy — who we’d been slagging all game — headed a corner directly into Ashdown’s chilling embrace. Later, a succession of headers around the net was eventually cleared by the Pompey line. We could feel it, the imminent goal that would lead us to survival. But being a Fulham fan taught us to always be wary, as the bottom could fall out at any moment.

And then it happened. Again little Danny Murphy with a header. But this time it tickled the twine and Fulham were up 1-0. What was once “We are winning away, we are winning away, you must be shiite because we are winning away!” became “We are Fulham, Super Fulham, We are Fulham, PREMIERSHIP!”

I don’t recall seeing the goal celebration as the room went into frenzy. Us Fulham fans jumped from their stools and cheered boisterously. Hugs, high fives, and fist pumps were thrown around like we had just won a trophy. The casual observers were even congratulating us, pleased that us Fulham fans who had not just been at the brink of despair, but in it as we resigned ourselves to the tragic inevitability months prior now had reason to celebrate.

The final fifteen minutes were agonizing, but we knew it was to be Fulham’s day. Each Pompey attack was thwarted by a brave tackle by Hanglehand, Davies, Bullard, et al. And then the whistle blew. Premier League status for another year.

But, sadly, it was suddenly over. This season of agony that turned to jubilation at the very end (finally?) expired. Yet unlike last summer, I believe in the manager and am ready for a productive off-season.

Come On You Whites!

Some vids/media:

Woy’s Interview
Gentleman Jim Counting Down the Final Minutes
SoccerNet (finally) loves us
Danny Murphy Interview

And, for everyone who considered Fulham done and dusted (including this here writer), well we got a big plate of crow to chow down. I really wish I could quit you, Fulham.

Just check out SkySports’ reaction:

Although I missed a majority of the match, when I read the 3-2 scoreline I laughed hysterically for a good 10 minutes – something I haven’t done since the victory over Arsenal in the fall of ’06.

Winning back-to-back road games for the first time in four years, Fulham pulled out a miracle on a day that saw them subject-to-relegation just 10 minutes in. Keller, Murphy, and Bullard all rebounded from disappointing performances last week, and possessed the drive and passion that saw us dispatch Everton, Reading, and Villa in the weeks and months past.

The only blemish on the day was Reading, Bolton, and Birmingham all gaining points. But with next week’s watershed fixture at the Cottage against the Brummies, Fulham may just find themselves (finally) out of this quagmire.

But here we are: three points from safety, a winnable match on the horizon, the monkey of away puditry off our backs at the perfect time, and enough momentum is see us clear. And the WhiteWitch continuing to amaze.

But wait…haven’t we been in this position before?